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Why I Use The Term UnMarried Instead of Singles
by Daryl O’Neil
I am thankful to God to have grown up in a church that taught present truth! I was able to learn of the current reformation of the church, which has been highlighted by the restoration of the offices of apostles and prophets to fully functioning capacity in the church. This has been ongoing for more than a decade now. Glory be to God for His goodness to us.
As I studied the ministry gift of apostle to learn how this gift functions, to build and advance the government of God in the earth, I had to look at and LISTEN to those who were referred to as APOSTLES. While listening to one of the greatest apostles outside of Jesus Christ Himself, I was sent on a journey which is liberating many who are unmarried in the church and setting the captives free. There must be reformation to ministry that is called “singles” ministry.
I was challenged, as a young emerging apostle, attending conferences that ministered to Married couples, ministered to families and leaders and left out the largest segment of the church, the unmarried. I had a thought go through my head in a particular meeting which was simply… the unmarried feel like lepers in my house. They deserve to be healed. I was stunned by this thought. I started to pursue those I knew were unmarried and ask them if this was so. To my surprise, many confirmed what I had heard in my spirit.
Six years ago, I was having devotional study and was reading 1Corinthians 7 and got the SHOCK of MY LIFE. The apostle Paul is his letter to the church at Corinth shares some startling thoughts, which in all my years of being in the church have never heard preached ONCE.
He says firstly, It is NOT GOOD for a man to touch a woman. Never heard this preached in ONE church! I guess in our society, it would be blasphemous to preach like this when just about everyone has sex on the brains!!! Of course he goes further to indicate that in order to not be involved in sexual immorality let each man have his own wife and each woman her own husband. Living life without touching a woman. Could this be Kingdom? Paul thought so and promoted it!
The second thing he said that messed me up was in verse 7. For I wish that all men were even as myself. But each one has his OWN GIFT from God, one in this manner and another in that. Paul referred to his marital state, unmarried, as a gift of God. I began to think to myself, if he had this gift, are others born with it too? How does one get faith to operate in their gift from God? Romans 10:17 So then faith comes by hearing and hearing by the Word of God. but if there is NO TEACHING on this gift and NO HEARING, what happens to those who have it in Jesus’ church? That is another whole story. Paul was unmarried and not unfulfilled. In fact, he is one of the most known persons ever. Could being unmarried be POTENT and fruitful?
Then, I read further and it said in verse 8, But I say to the UNMARRIED and to the WIDOWS: it is good for them if they remain even as I am, but if they cannot exercise self control, let them marry.
That is when the Holy Spirit caused me to HEAR what an Apostolic father was doing in this letter. He continues to address the married AND the UNMARRIED. Then, I had to ask the question, Why did Paul not call them SINGLES? Why do we call the unmarried singles?
Paul functioned from a kingdom pattern which was always connected to covenant. God’s government is connected to covenant principles while fornication deals with no covenant.
Did you know there is nowhere in the bible the unmarried are called singles? Did you know the only place in the word of God that I have found the word single is in Matthew chapter 6:22
and it does not refer to marital status but having an eye that is good or pure.
Have you considered all the categories of unmarrieds in the local church today? The classification of unmarried people in the church is expansive, but never really considered as such: VIRGINS, WIDOWS, DIVORCED, YOUTH and CHILDREN. There are also those who are unmarried with children. Kingdom ministry to the unmarried should touch all believers. Paul as an APOSTLE, was not just concerned about the married but the unmarried too!
From this revelation, God has permitted me to develop a kingdom minded approach to building unmarried adults, youth and young adults with an understanding of covenant which is making better believers at an earlier age. “Singles ministry” in the minds of many in the church does not inspire anything positive. There is an entire culture in society built around being “single” as opposed to being unmarried. I hope you are curious to discover more. We are seeing too many people who were learning to be passionate for God get tricked and led away from God and the church playing with BABYLONS culture called “singles”! Remember the name Babylon means: confusion and mixture.
This is just the beginning… If you are interested in hearing and knowing more.. YOU should plan to either ATTEND or SEND some of your unmarried population of your church to my monthly gatherings for the unmarried or to our conference. It is unique ministry and builds ZION into them not BABYLON!!! Those who have attended them can testify ministry to the unmarried is being reformed.
I have developed a curriculum and pattern for building ministry to the unmarried and as Pastors, Fathers and leaders of flocks you should not ignore this important segment of God’s church!
